It’s true what they say about planning a wedding — it really is quite stressful. I made the brilliant decision of not hiring a wedding planner and with just 3 months before we exchange our vows I’ve developed a couple of blisters on my fingers that, upon research and subjecting my eyes to disgusting Google Image results, may have been triggered by stress.
I’d like to believe I’m far from being a bridezilla and that I’m more of a bridechilla… to a fault, actually. A bridezilla is a bride-to-be who thinks she is the center of the universe just because she’s getting married and starts pissing everyone off because she’s so difficult to deal with. In my case, I’ve been slacking off on preparations that I get so defensive when I’m questioned how things are coming along. Jim and I have gotten into a few arguments concerning the wedding and that’s something we hoped wouldn’t happen. In this blog post, I’m going to list down a couple of things we’ve butted heads about.
I’m not a good planner. I don’t normally throw parties but when I do (I’ve thrown Jim 3 birthday parties), 2 out of 3 are mediocre *nervous laughter* I’m just really bad with logistics. Still, I refused to pay a wedding planner because I didn’t want anybody taking over. I’m so stubborn, I know it now. I’ve created about a million Microsoft Excel files that are practically useless because I spend most of the time formatting the cells and not enough information goes in. I took up BFA Creative Writing in college, okay, so I never really needed to use Excel! So now we’ve decided that I will take care of the decisions (well, most of it) and he will take care of logistics because he’s some sort of logistics wizard anyway.
Budgeting. Just look at the word budget. Now say it out loud. It just sounds like a bad word… Anyway, I was so determined to become an “ideal wife” that I insisted on handling our wedding and everyday expenses. Once again, this put into focus my lack of Microsoft Excel skills. It took months of Jim’s “hey honey, can I look at our budget for the month?” and my “OMG what are you trying to say?!?!!?!” before I finally conceded and let Jim handle it. One night he asked if we could talk. He said he’d been having a hard time trying to talk about money matters without my getting so explosive. It’s because I get uncomfortable talking about money but I know it’s unrealistic not to do so with my fiancé. I usually get so defensive because I know I haven’t been keeping track of my expenses and I hate it when I mess up. He told me that he had a talk about it with his lovely mom, a certified counselor, and that tita Bing advised him to be patient with me. By default we look at our own set of parents as our guide to married life. Where his parents have the usual set-up of the working man with the woman taking care of the household, my parents were totally all over the place. My dad never had a set time for work because of tapings and gigs, my mom handled his schedule and would go with him most of the time as his back-up singer. So my idea of the married life is very rock and roll a.k.a. MAGULO. Hahaha. Jim has a more organized life visualized for us and I really do appreciate that. I’m not as organized as my mom yet (she handled pop’s and all 8 kids’ schedules and transportation for years) but I’m sure I will learn it along the way. My thoughts on money has always been: what you earn is the money that you have and you can spend it however you want until it runs out. Thanks, Creative Writing! LOL. I’m so thankful Jim has taught me to keep a fraction of whatever I earn for a rainy day. We both decided I should drop the budgeting responsibility because it wasn’t my forte and that’s not a bad thing. Jim apologized for seemingly expecting too much from me. In his words, “if you ask me to design a logo on Photoshop I wouldn’t know where to start but you could do it in 5 minutes.” We have our strengths and weaknesses and we should just delegate tasks according to what we know best.
Guest List. We argued about this once when I had a little OA moment while checking our guest list. I somehow came to the conclusion that I had no friends. It looked like 70% of the people invited were all from his side and only 30% was mine or shared. It’s not a contest, I know, but I had felt really sad looking at the list. Then I figured that all our guests are going to share our special day with us so this means his people will be my people as well.
So you’re probably thinking I’m an emotional wreck and that I’m a bridezilla-in-denial but I think I’m more of a bridesilly: silly to think the wedding will happen without planning it. Every question Jim asked about the planning had been answered with a defensive attack. This time it will be different. I’m working so much harder now that we’ve assigned each other’s tasks and I’m not so overwhelmed since he took control of logistics. Looking at the list above, you’re probably questioning why he’s even marrying an “emotionally-unstable” woman like me (OA yung emotionally unstable). But he’s told me again and again that he’s not marrying me for my planning and budgeting skills or because I have a lot of friends. Hahaha.
These arguments and their resolutions are proof that I’ve chosen the perfect guy for me. He doesn’t let me get away with my brattiness, he tells me off and I respect him for putting me in my place. Still, he lets me be crazy on some days and that’s exactly what this bridesilly needs. ♥