Spell Saab

It’s true what they say about planning a wedding — it really is quite stressful. I made the brilliant decision of not hiring a wedding planner and with just 3 months before we exchange our vows I’ve developed a couple of blisters on my fingers that, upon research and subjecting my eyes to disgusting Google Image results, may have been triggered by stress.

bridezilla

I’d like to believe I’m far from being a bridezilla and that I’m more of a bridechilla… to a fault, actually. A bridezilla is a bride-to-be who thinks she is the center of the universe just because she’s getting married and starts pissing everyone off because she’s so difficult to deal with. In my case, I’ve been slacking off on preparations that I get so defensive when I’m questioned how things are coming along. Jim and I have gotten into a few arguments concerning the wedding and that’s something we hoped wouldn’t happen. In this blog post, I’m going to list down a couple of things we’ve butted heads about.

bridezilla2

I’m not a good planner. I don’t normally throw parties but when I do (I’ve thrown Jim 3 birthday parties), 2 out of 3 are mediocre *nervous laughter* I’m just really bad with logistics. Still, I refused to pay a wedding planner because I didn’t want anybody taking over. I’m so stubborn, I know it now. I’ve created about a million Microsoft Excel files that are practically useless because I spend most of the time formatting the cells and not enough information goes in. I took up BFA Creative Writing in college, okay, so I never really needed to use Excel! So now we’ve decided that I will take care of the decisions (well, most of it) and he will take care of logistics because he’s some sort of logistics wizard anyway.

bridezilla3

Budgeting. Just look at the word budget. Now say it out loud. It just sounds like a bad word… Anyway, I was so determined to become an “ideal wife” that I insisted on handling our wedding and everyday expenses. Once again, this put into focus my lack of Microsoft Excel skills. It took months of Jim’s “hey honey, can I look at our budget for the month?” and my “OMG what are you trying to say?!?!!?!” before I finally conceded and let Jim handle it. One night he asked if we could talk. He said he’d been having a hard time trying to talk about money matters without my getting so explosive. It’s because I get uncomfortable talking about money but I know it’s unrealistic not to do so with my fiancé. I usually get so defensive because I know I haven’t been keeping track of my expenses and I hate it when I mess up. He told me that he had a talk about it with his lovely mom, a certified counselor, and that tita Bing advised him to be patient with me. By default we look at our own set of parents as our guide to married life. Where his parents have the usual set-up of the working man with the woman taking care of the household, my parents were totally all over the place. My dad never had a set time for work because of tapings and gigs, my mom handled his schedule and would go with him most of the time as his back-up singer. So my idea of the married life is very rock and roll a.k.a. MAGULO. Hahaha. Jim has a more organized life visualized for us and I really do appreciate that. I’m not as organized as my mom yet (she handled pop’s and all 8 kids’ schedules and transportation for years) but I’m sure I will learn it along the way. My thoughts on money has always been: what you earn is the money that you have and you can spend it however you want until it runs out. Thanks, Creative Writing! LOL. I’m so thankful Jim has taught me to keep a fraction of whatever I earn for a rainy day. We both decided I should drop the budgeting responsibility because it wasn’t my forte and that’s not a bad thing. Jim apologized for seemingly expecting too much from me. In his words, “if you ask me to design a logo on Photoshop I wouldn’t know where to start but you could do it in 5 minutes.” We have our strengths and weaknesses and we should just delegate tasks according to what we know best.

bridezilla4

Guest List. We argued about this once when I had a little OA moment while checking our guest list. I somehow came to the conclusion that I had no friends. It looked like 70% of the people invited were all from his side and only 30% was mine or shared. It’s not a contest, I know, but I had felt really sad looking at the list. Then I figured that all our guests are going to share our special day with us so this means his people will be my people as well.

So you’re probably thinking I’m an emotional wreck and that I’m a bridezilla-in-denial but I think I’m more of a bridesilly: silly to think the wedding will happen without planning it. Every question Jim asked about the planning had been answered with a defensive attack. This time it will be different. I’m working so much harder now that we’ve assigned each other’s tasks and I’m not so overwhelmed since he took control of logistics. Looking at the list above, you’re probably questioning why he’s even marrying an “emotionally-unstable” woman like me (OA yung emotionally unstable). But he’s told me again and again that he’s not marrying me for my planning and budgeting skills or because I have a lot of friends. Hahaha.

These arguments and their resolutions are proof that I’ve chosen the perfect guy for me. He doesn’t let me get away with my brattiness, he tells me off and I respect him for putting me in my place. Still, he lets me be crazy on some days and that’s exactly what this bridesilly needs. ♥

November 2, 2014

Saab

45 Comments

  1. Reply

    Krisha C.

    November 4, 2014

    Just like my sister. Mas personalized daw ang dating pag sila mismo ang Wedding planner. We did their ‘invitation in a bottle’ and some props for the reception. Their wedding’s on the 28th pero petiks pa rin. Haha :-) Congrats Ms Saab!

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 4, 2014

      Hahahaha congrats to your sister!!:)

  2. Reply

    secretwalangclue

    November 4, 2014

    awesome post, a great read for soon-to-be-brides-without-wedding-a-planner :)

    i guess you have already booked the church, reception venue, band or DJ, cake maker, flowers? (i remember Chandler and Monica’s wedding haha) etc. since you didn’t mention it :)

    AWESOME AWESOME USE OF E-CARDS BY THE WAY! MOREEE WEDDING POSTS PLEASEEE :)

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 4, 2014

      Yes to church, reception, band, dj, cake, flowers :D Thanks!!

  3. Reply

    andy

    November 4, 2014

    I thought your wedding planner is your Ate Unna? Best of luck with everything!

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 4, 2014

      No, she’s my matron of honor and all my girls are helping me naman but no actual planner except for Jim and I. Thanks!

  4. Reply

    m e g

    November 4, 2014

    who will be your brides maid?

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 7, 2014

      My best friends :)

  5. Reply

    suzette

    November 4, 2014

    awwwww….. so touchy… May you have a wonderful wedding ahead… and I guess, its not all about the wedding but the marriage that you and jim will share.. keep it cool… and hope everythings gonna work out fine! goodluck!
    Btw, I enjoyed your article it made me laugh specially the part where you realized, you don’t have friends!.. I can relate to that…I guess I would feel the same way on my own wedding preparations someday!

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 7, 2014

      Thank you!!:D

  6. Reply

    anne25

    November 4, 2014

    you’re so real! love you, saab!!! and im sure your wedding will be amazing!

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 7, 2014

      Thank you <3<3

  7. Reply

    Kristina

    November 5, 2014

    Just for laughs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBTpRaws5ts&feature=share. It will all be okay :) My wedding turned out to be a great party after the stressful months, it’s all worth it!

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 7, 2014

      HAHAHA I sent that link to Jim just now. Thanks it’s exactly what’s happening hahahaha

  8. Reply

    Dasha Mones

    November 5, 2014

    Hi Saab!

    Again, congrats on your wedding. I am so happy for you and Jim. It seems like you’ve found your perfect guy. Hope that the wedding goes well. Will pray for the both of you. Good luck on the wedding planning. No matter what happens as long as you guys love each other, the wedding won’t matter anyway. (At least that’s what I believe in. HAHA. Thanks to Bones season 9 episode 6) HAHAHAHA.

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 7, 2014

      Thank you so much!!:D Omg I don’t watch Bones but did you just spoil it?!? Hahahaha!

  9. Reply

    gigi

    November 5, 2014

    Ugh! exxcited for your wedding (feeling close lang ako, haha) pero bakit ganon? hindi ako makapag comment sa blog post mo using my phone? hindi ko makita yung coomment section, kelangan ko pa mag open sa laptop para lang makapag comment o may problem lang sakin?! thanks for inspiring us!!:)

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 7, 2014

      I have no idea about the comments thing ;_;

  10. Reply

    Ivy

    November 6, 2014

    Well, it’s a good job to you Sab because planning a wedding is not easy. Ako and my fiance kami lang naghahandle of all our needed for our wedding. Kami mismo ang naghahanap ng kaylangan namin no Wedding coordinator kase we want na yung gusto namin ang makikita namin sa wedding. And besides namamanage namin yung wedding expenses nakikita namin san napupunta yung na-out na money. It’s a time consuming lang talaga kase on our part we both working so hindi talga pwedeng hindi sya maasikaso yung planning as much as possible maayos ang lahat before our special day. Siguro I advised you to attend wedding forum free naman yun you just need to sign-up to the website to get your coupon. And try to read some article sa internet about wedding prep marami ka matututunan. Also if your creative or try to do DIY projects nakakatuwa sya, try to check this website http://www.weddingchicks.com/ you can download free DIY project its free. Well haba na ng nasabi ko sorry is just that I felt your excitement and happiness coz’ Im getting married next month Dec.20 so congrats to you and to Jim! May God guide you all the way and provide your needs for your wedding. :D

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 7, 2014

      Thanks so much for the tips :)

  11. Reply

    Jae

    November 6, 2014

    Ay, nako, Saab. I-enjoy mo lang ‘yan kasi ‘pag natapos na lahat, tatawanan mo na lang yung mga bagay nagpakastress ka. Yes, I’m talking from personal experience. Sana nakinig ako sa Mom ko to “savour the moment”. We had two years preparation, pero kumilos lang talaga ako nung mga one year to go na lang. Hehehe!

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 7, 2014

      Haha ako 3 months hahaha pero okay lang, we have it under control naman hehe :) Thanks! And what a nice blog you have :)

      • Reply

        Jae

        November 11, 2014

        Ay, kinilig ako nang slight sa side comment. Hihi! Thank you, Saab! Good luck with the preparations, and enjoy lang! :)

  12. Reply

    Cez

    November 6, 2014

    Congrats Saab! :)

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 7, 2014

      Thanks :)

  13. Reply

    Yosh

    November 7, 2014

    Oohh you’re so cute! And I so feel you! That’s exactly how I felt before I got married. It will get better, get an OTD coordinator if you must para chillax na lang sa mismong wedding. Congrats Saab! :)

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 7, 2014

      Yes, we have an OTD coordinator :)

  14. Reply

    carla

    November 10, 2014

    Hi Saab! its ok not to hire a wedding planner… Just enjoy lang ur wedding prep..And my friends ka naman na tutulong sanyo. Ako namn nun wedding nun friend ako..Parang ako na naging wedding planner and halos lahat ng suppliers ako may kakilala…. And nun wedding day, sabay na yata kame niretouch kasi syempre un bride kailangan maganda at ako naman hulas na make up ko kakaikot..hihihi..Nakakapagod na masaya kasi naging successful naman yun wedding.

    Enjoy ur wedding prep and advance Congratulations. :-)

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 25, 2014

      Wow you’re a very good friend then!:D Thanks!

  15. Reply

    Julie

    November 11, 2014

    Funny how I stumbled upon this post when I’ve just finished my blog post about how to plan a wedding. haha! I had the same problems before my wedding but really, to have a wedding coordinator is something you should think about. I also refused to have one but finally decided to hire someone because the “things to do” were endless even after the wedding. Best wishes Saab!

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 25, 2014

      Yes, finally hired a coordinator now that the wedding’s very near :)

  16. Reply

    Nica

    November 11, 2014

    I’m sure at the end of it all. It would be all worth it!

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 25, 2014

      I sure hope so :D

  17. Reply

    Nym Wales R. Juezan

    November 12, 2014

    my gosh this looks like our story as well! even the my emotional breakdown about the guestlists! anyways, we hired an on the day coordinator who was actually a personal friend of ours so she was okay with a 6k on the day with 3 of her assistants pero consultation nya ha hindi on the day. Our wedidng is one of the unpretentious kind really because i want it to reflect who we are. i left the budgeting sa fiance ko nun husband ko na ngayon kase mas marunong cya, even the excel (kalurkey) ako ang nag solicit (kapalan) tsaka lahat ng props namin sa wedding the husband made it na :) our wedding pics are here

    http://www.greenandpurplephotos.com/2014/10/19/bryan-nym-cebu-city-wedding-photographer-alliance-of-two-hearts-kishanta-clubhouse-jeff-garban-salt-and-bleach/

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 25, 2014

      Yes, super laid back. Nice and you both look so happy :) Wait, nadapa ka ba talaga sa stairs or acting lang yun?? Haha! Stay in love :)

  18. Reply

    eloisa

    November 13, 2014

    really i would term you as stubborn but more or less still lovely and graceful in your own way :) perhaps you are just pressured on everything but for sure you will find resolution to every problem together with your fiance. good luck on your wedding preps! Have a blast! :)

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 25, 2014

      Thanks :)

  19. Reply

    Jena

    November 18, 2014

    It’s surprising that you only have about 30% coming from your side on your guest list. Mostly kasi women yung maraming friends haha! Good luck on your wedding and congratulations! :)

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 25, 2014

      Haha not me! Thanks :)

  20. Reply

    Jhanz

    November 21, 2014

    Aww! :) Congrats Saab, looks like the job is slowly getting done and you are one step (or more than one maybe) closer to becoming Mrs. B!

    Planning will never be easy, but if you’re patient and dedicated enough, I know you’d be able to go through it in a whim. Good luck!!!

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 25, 2014

      Thank you!!:)

  21. Reply

    Kylie

    November 22, 2014

    Congratulations on the engagement!! I’m a super longtime reader. As in naabutan ko pa si Doods. Then Mikko, Carlos, Julius, and finally Jim. Did I miss anyone? Haha. It’s pretty amazing to have witnessed how you’ve matured throughout the years. One thing they all seem to have in common is that they appreciate music noh? Sobrang fan ba dating ko? Hihi. Well I guess I really am. Congrats again! Excited to read about your future adventures! From being the girl who had so much teenage angst to one day probably telling us all about being a loving mom :)

    • Reply

      Saab

      November 25, 2014

      Hahaha binuking mo naman ako! Longtime reader nga!:)) Thank you so much!

  22. Reply

    MeryllKK

    December 2, 2014

    Hi Saab! I’m so excited for you. :”> Fan mo pa rin ako kahit married ka na. Gahhhh 3 months na lang! Kaya mo yan! Will definitely watch out for your wedding pictures. See you soon on your future gigs! <3

    • Reply

      Saab

      December 8, 2014

      <3<3

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