SAAB & JIM
We’re in the car right now, welcome to the second episode of Domestic Dispute. I hope this is clear but don’t worry because we’ve decided that for the next consecutive episodes of Domestic Dispute we’re gonna do a transcription of the podcast because —
Move into the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches
Because I feel like —
Move into the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches
Alright. I feel like my readers are.. just that: readers.
So I think you would enjoy a transcript of things that transpire.
So kanina we were talking about, ano, “what are things that drove you crazy when you were kids?”
Are we doing that now? Okay, sige.
And, like, which of those crazy things that your parents did would you like to…
Ay, partake. Mali.
Impose to your future, our future kids.
I think it’s a good topic of discussion kasi, especially for newly married couples, right?
Or if you’re in a srss relationship — SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP — ok, I’m trying to speak clearer now. And also, even if you’re not in a relationship, I think it’s a fun topic of conversation.
Yeah so kunwari, this actually started kasi my dad is very anal
HAHAHA I hope he doesn’t hear this
Hindi, kaya he was so successful – because he was extremely OC. He grew up, like, when he would wake up he would have to garden and then he’d be forced to do piano lessons… Basta parang he’s —
He followed a schedule
Yeah he has a strict schedule and he’s a firm believer that no minute or second should be wasted in a day. So parang he’s not a couch potato. There’s no couch potato gene in him.
Grabe and that’s why he so successful.
My mom naman is more free-spirited. She’s relaxed na, (copies mom’s voice) “Ah, okay lang yan!” ganyan. So yun, I think I got a good mixture. So anyway, growing up, one thing my dad would always do is parang kumbaga if there is a plan na we go from POINT A to POINT B — anything that will mess up that POINT A to B will be…
Chaos na! For example, buong grade school/high school life, mass namin was at 10AM on Sundays and the church was 3 minutes away, walking distance from our house. If 10AM yung mass, we would have to leave the house at 9:30.
To get good seats! I get him!
Yeah, to get good seats, pero OA sa good seats. As in wala pa yung pari nandun na kami. So I think that’s one. Ikaw?
So you have to be awake by 9?
Hindi! 8:30! He assumes na 1 hour and 30 to get ready. Kahit ako: guy. Ako, it takes me what? 5 minutes to get ready. So gigisingin niya kami ng 9:30
And then matutulog ako ulit and then pipilitin ko talaga matulog but isang katok lang niya, as in my whole world will be like “SHIT OH MY GOD I OVERSLEPT.” Ganon.
And you kinda got that, right?
Yung pagiging OC sa time?
Yung pagiging anal haha
Well, kind of. Sa time, I think it’s nice you try to be on time all the time. But the thing is, what drives me a little… It drives me crazy when I asked Jim like out of the blue, “Hey, you wanna go to Rockwell?” on a Sunday
No, no, here’s my ano ha.. We live in Pasig and then I say, “you wanna pass by Rockwell?” before we watch a movie at night with my family in —
In Shangri-la! And then he’s like, “WHAT?? THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!” Tas parang ako, “Oh my gosh, it’s a Sunday, it’ll take us like 10 minutes to get to Rockwell…”
Wait, first of all..
That only happens when there’s a logistical concern, like from South to North
But that happened. Rockwell to Shang
Kasi nasa South na tayo, ay hindi, nasa may Shang area na tayo tapos magsh-Shang tayo ulit?
No, galing tayo sa bahay natin tapos pupunta tayong Rockwell tapos babalik tayo sa Shang.
Kaya nga, now that you say it nga…
It sounds ridiculous
Yun nga, I was raised that way.
He panics. As in, “THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!”
Kunwari pag may gigs kami… Kwento mo pag may gigs.
Pag may gigs kami… Ano?
Kunwari may gig kami sa Route 196 sa Katipunan,
Wala na yun, imposible nang mag-Makati kami even sa morning
Yeah, wala na. If we are in the middle…
Not even The Fort! “No! That’s impossible. We’re gonna be at Route at 10PM tonight, we can’t go to Fort at 11AM!” Exagge! As in. WHAT?? So that kind of drives me crazy but it’s okay.
So now the question is, shouldn’t we raise our kid like that?
I wanna raise our kid to also think that “on time is late and early is on time” so I want that kasi ako, oh my gosh, just to compare: with my family, if you say 5pm early dinner they’re gonna show up at 7. It’s crazy. I’m used to it. Like, “Okay, 5pm!” so I’ll be there by 6 because I know no one’s gonna be there at 5 and they’re still late. Grabe. As in it.. It’s… It’s so.. Ugh.
Well it’s good because we’re both at the opposite sides of the extremes, diba?
Well, yeah, pero ako naman I think it’s also hanging out with you that got me to be very…
Hindi! When we started dating you were saying na you’re very anal about time.
Well, ako, kunwari I have a gig and then I end at like 4AM and I have a 7AM calltime — I’m there by 7. I’m not like, “ugh I wanna sleep again!” kailangan talaga cos like, I dunno…
Hindi, when we started dating naman that was one of the issues eh. Like in the middle. Kasi parang sa umpisa it’s like “GAME ALL OUT!” Gimmick tapos kita ulit the next day parang “Okay, this hot girl wants to go out! Game!”
So parang okay, game! Pero may corporate job ako nung time na yun so in the middle of the relationship, which happens sa most relationships diba na parang…
SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?? YOU’RE TIRED???
No! Parang you start assessing more? Diba? So kunwari on a Wednesday night yayayain mo ako na, “hey you wanna go to..” kung anumang club or whatever… Parang it got to a point na sasabihin ko, “Uy…”
“Parang nakakapagod.” Ganon
GRAAAAAABE!!! GANYAN TALAGA KAYONG MGA LALAKE, MGA HAYOP KAYO!!! Charot hahaha
Hindi, parang… Wait.. What were we talking about na pala?
Na at some point in the relationship, you kind of have to take a breather and be more practical about logistics
Which brings me to my point na what I want for our kid is middle ground. To be relaxed, like how you guys grew up na relaxed and a little or a certain level of uptightness thaht’s healthy
Am I your dream child? Cos that’s kind of me.
Hahahaha HEY! Alright, well, ako, I was sharing with Jim kanina a thing that I got from my mom. Actually I didn’t get it from my mom. I just thought about it kanina kasi we were talking about how our parents are and what they instilled within us. And sabi ko for some strange reason my mom was so anal naman about… Can we stop using the word anal? It’s just disturbing. Hahahaha
My mom was just very, very… umm… Strict! About us not borrowing from our friends. Anything. Like if we borrowed an eraser? We would get an earful.
Mostly school supplies? Kunwari, how about a laser disc?
Bawal rin yun?
No! Bawal! Of course, that’s the stuff that you would borrow from your friend diba? Like TEENBEAT MAGAZINE or whatever
Pag nalaman niyang binorrow mo yan sa friend mo, lagot ka!
Ano yung gagawin?
Sobrang papagalitan lang kami… And she would say return it and don’t ever borrow again. And that’s why she also doesn’t like us hitching a ride with our friends. No, no, no. I don’t know why. Well, I kind of know why. I was thinking out loud kanina with Jim. I think it’s cos well now I never borrow anything
Parang you don’t wanna be over-dependent
Yeah, and I know some kids before my age in grade school who would always borrow money from me, diba, mga 20 pesos kahit ganon lang. And I guess I would get annoyed at some point and I think siguro that’s a reflection on the parent eh. So I guess my mom was thinking like, “I don’t want Saab’s friend’s parents to think na pinalaki ko silang ganyan.”
Ako naman baliktad. Like, sa amin naging issue ang lending too much. Kaya parang ngayon naging praning na ako. Did you notice that?
Yeah, I noticed that.
Medyo SWAPANG ka… HAHAHAHA
Not swapang! It’s not easy for me to let go of stuff even if it’s a very close friend kasi I had two instances that changed my life.
Kasi first, when I got here… Yun nga, I lived in New Jersey.
Oh yeah, just a backgrounder: Jim’s a Jersey Boy!
And trying to make friends because Ateneo nung time na yun pag jologs ka cool ka. Unlike now na, “Hey, do you have an iPad? No? Oh my God, don’t hang out with us.”
“Oh my God, are you poor? Get away!”
Before naman sakin, like, “Hi I’m Jim!” tapos sila “SINO `TONG–“
“SINO `TONG SKWATER NA `TO???”
“FEELING!! FEELING!!” So I had no friends so my way to get a gang… Gang talaga? Barkada or group… Kunwari lunch time, lalabas ko yung meal card. Naalala mo yung meal card?
Yeah, we didn’t have that.
We had meal cards na isa-sign mo lang.. [and the parents would pay for it later]
Of course Ateneo has meal cards. Oh wait, I think we had that I just didn’t avail of it.
So both me and my sister would do that. We’d bring our friends tapos manlilibre kami ng sizzling plates and then isa-sign namin yung meal card tapos parang may bill yun diba na lalabas? So yun
You know that’s exactly what Mindy Kaling did? I read her book, Why Not Me?, and that’s what she did. She brought candy to school to win friends.
Wala lang. Fun. Read that book
Anyway, episode 2 ko naman. I needed friends cos it was so lonely eh. Diba you’re a fucking small kid, diba? Tapos yun nga, it’s so weird cos yung mga ka-batch ko sa grade school, they would touch each other’s dicks tapos —
WHAT THE HECKKKK —
Hindi! I mean playfully! Tapos yun nga I couldn’t understand bakit sila yung cool?
Wait, sorry, how would they touch each other’s….
Kunwari gaganunin ka nila (makes dick-flicking sound effects) PANG! PANG! Tatamaan lang nila.
Ano yun, parang, “PARE!!” ganon?
Basta kunwari, peeing in the bathroom or doing number two was so scary cos minsan they’d flip you over habang umiihi ka sa urinal or pag nagnu-number two ka aakyatin ka tapos pagtatawanan ka. “TUMATAE SI GANYAN!” Anyway, it was horrible.
Horrible! Ateneo, please fix your kids! Charot.
No, it’s different na now I think.
I hope so.
Anyway, my point is… I went to school with an 8850. Kinuha ko yung 8850 ng dad ko, nung time na yun sobrang cool nun diba yung Nokia na small silver phone na sliding? So I was like, fuck I’m gonna be the coolest kid! True enough talgang, “wow, si Jim may ganyan!!” …. Ninakaw.
Alam mo pano?
So I was so cool that day, nakisabay pa sila sa van ko. “Gusto niyo sumabay sa van ko? Hatid ko kayo sa Katipunan!” “Game, game!” Ganun ako nun. So I left the phone at the back kasi nagssnake ako or something, I don’t know. When I got home I couldn’t find the phone. Ninakaw pa nung mga sumabay sakin.
Sino mga sinabay mo? Hindi mo ka-close?
Mga kaklase ko
It was grade 5. Talagang EVIL. Anyway
That’s why na-trauma ka about lending stuff?
Yeah the lesson is, again, middle ground tayo. Wag naman maging swapang. Wag rin naman maging masyadong generous unless in 5 years we suddenly become Henry Sy.
Ako I think I would say I’m generous with my friends but more of with my time and service.
So I think that’s a way to compromise na parang that’s another way of showing your friends you care instead of lending them your gadgets or trying to win them over with new shoes or whatever
But again we agree na sa middle. Kasi mate-take advantage yung ganyan eh
I was thinking more of your close friends
I still disagree
I’m sorry but I would do that to our band..
Hindi, kaya nga I’m saying find the balance..
EH AYOKO NGA EH!! Charot hahaha
Move into the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches. Alam mo hindi ba natin nata-tackle?
What do you mean love life?
A lesson! What did your dad or your mom teach you when it comes to the other sex?
Well my dad always threatened to break their legs. Any boy. So that was a great lesson. Hahaha. No, I like that my mom was always there for me to talk to. I was very open with her. I was really open with her about who I was dating or sino nang nag-break ng heart ko or whatever. Pero of course that was in college na, when I was 18 and above cos in high school bawal kami mag boyfriend.
So tayo, ano? Pagbabawalan ba natin magka-boyfriend or..
I think —
Can I say something that is not sexist
I know it’s gonna be sexist cos you’re gonna say the girl will never have a boyfriend.
Sa high school.
Tapos yung boy pwede??
Kasi I think it helps develop the —
No!! Of course not!!
Oo naman noh!
Oo because —
Because the guy learns to be, you know, faithful…
Bakit, eh yung girl?? Oh my gosh! Did I marry a sexist??? I’m so sorry, girls!!
… Move into the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches.
How dare you, Jim?? Charot.
No, kasi high school guys are fucking assholes!
And I wanna..
You know what, I propose kasi our kids don’t go to an all-boys or all-girls school cos that fucks them up. Go to a co-ed school, have friends.
Don’t have one-on-one relationships, have a lot of relationships.
Diba? Talk to boys! Talk to girls!
Ako, I think hindi ko papagbawalan yung kid ko but I would make her feel like, “ugh medyo baduy” ganun. Like, I would make her have really high self-esteem
But the thing is YOU’RE gonna be baduy in her eyes eh
No no no no no
So if you say it’s baduy..
Excuse me!! I’m gonna be a cool mom! How dare you? Gets mo yung sinasabi ko? I’m gonna make her have high self-esteem and then I’m gonna be like, “okay, pero hindi ba mas masaya kung mag-banda ka?” Diba?? Ganon. That would be cool.
(Just parked) Paano to? Hold on?
Yeah, we’re gonna go up the elevator. We just got home so.. This MIGHT be the end of the podcast hahahha or we’ll be right back.
Okay, we’re back! Domestic Dispute episode 2 we’re talking about stuff we learned from our parents. Another thing that I wanna share is how my dad and mom were kind of really sweet towards each other even in front of us. I think that was nice. Although I wasn’t aware of it at first kasi nag-debate pa kami ni Maxx kasi we were in a movie theater and then my dad asked my mom, “do you want anything, sweets?” And then I said to Maxx, “Ano daw gusto mo? Gusto mo ba daw ng sweets?” Sabi ni Maxx, “Ano ka ba, yun yung tawagan nila ni mama!” Hahaha so I thought that was cute. What about you, what did you learn about love.
Well, ganun din. My dad naman would never get mad in front of my mom in front of us. He had a bad temper when we were growing up pero never sa mom ko. So I think as a son I would never raise my voice to her. And parang it put women in such high regard. So that’s the one thing I wanna do. I mean that’s why I say I don’t want my daughter to be exposed to assholes because men are evil, men are ugly, and women are pure.
THAT’S RIGHT!! JOKE. I’m kidding we’re all equal.
Also, my dad, he never imposed lalo na sa dating.
Hindi kayo bawal to have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Ako? No. Well, the girls medyo. I don’t remember. Pero for me, what he would do is he never said, “don’t do this/don’t do that.” My first date ever, I was grade…
My gosh, grade school you had a date???
Yeah. From mIRC.
Hindi, kasi my friend said, like, “this girl is super hot” so I said, “okay, cool!”
Tapos ako parang, “shit! What do I do?” So tinanong ko dad ko and he brought me to SM. Sabi ko, “Pa, I saw something on a show. He was wearing suede shoes.” So the whole day —
What show was this?
You told me about this
Yun nga, yung sinasabi ko sainyo nila Jason [our bandmate] na he’s a teenage boy and then he strums a guitar and then he becomes like a BioMan. If you know it please e-mail us and mention us on Twitter para I’ll finally remember. Anyway. So I had to look for suede shoes so my dad, umalis siya sa office, picked me up, went to SM and we were there the whole day tapos naghanap lang kami ng suede shoes. Tapos the one I finally chose had purple soles. And my dad was, like, you could see it in his face na “wag” pero he didn’t say anything. So I bought the shoes, I wore it. Our date was at Miggy’s. You know Miggy’s?
Miggy’s is a burrito place in Commonwealth.
I don’t know that. Were you expecting me to know that?? Cos I don’t!
So before I got there, nag set-up ako. My friends were there with me. My friends told me, “dito ka sa table na to” “papasok siya dito” “dito ka maghe-hello” Okay. And then when she got there… Grade 6 yun so siguro 4 feet palang ako. 4’2″? 4’3″? Siguro 5’8″ siya.
OA ng 5’8″ exagge
I swear!!!! And then I found out years later when we were in college na she became like the school’s biggest varsity volleyball stars kasi she was so fucking tall. She ended up being like 6’3″
So what happened on your date?
Wala, I bought her a quesadilla.. Tas nag-hello, hi lang kami.
Ka-grade mo siya, grade 6?
Parang grade 7 yata siya. So binilan ko siya ng quesadilla, umupo kami sa table then we talked. Not even talk…
Lakas ng loob mo ha! Grade 6?
Grabe! Talagang, it was like…
(our kasambahay was knocking on the door) Wait lang, commercial
Give us a second.
Okay, we’re back.
So anyway, until now I could vividly remember how the scene was but the biggest thing was I think na because my dad was like “Bahala ka. If you wanna wear shoes that…” Sabi niya kasi “you’ll never wear those again.”
And you never did?
I never did. Never wore those shoes again. Pero it was cool to learn on my own. So feeling ko that’s how I’ll do it rin. If it’s a boy, the only thing I’ll mandate early on is safe sex.
At grade 6, ganon?
Yeah. Kung kamukha mo yung anak natin kailangan yan.
If he’s a guy itatago ko siya sa closet forever. Hanggang maging bakla siya. Hahahaha! I would love to have a gay son. That would be the best. Anyway, Jim does not agree. I’m kidding. Ako, ok lang sakin mag-date but I think I would do something like my mom would do. I’d be at a restaurant beside that restaurant.
Oh, that’s cool.
Diba? Ganun lagi yung mom ko eh. “Okay, sige, you can go but I’ll just be near.” Hahaha
Actually ang plan ko talaga pag girl, the only thing that I’ll be strict with actually is you.
What do you mean??
Na you won’t control her..
*GASP* Excuse me? I would be like, “GO, HONEY!”
“Go! Go conquer the world! Don’t get knocked up!” Hahahha books before boys.
Yeah pero yun nga kailangan ikaw yung best friend. Anyway, that probably wraps up this episode
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