DISCLAIMER: SOBRANG LABO NG EPISODE NA TO. #SorryNotSorry
SAAB: It’s our third episode
JIM: Anong nangyari dun sa last one?
Hindi ko type eh. So just say it again, this is more interesting than the last one we taped.
Alright, hi guys, welcome to episode 3 of domestic Dispute. We are currently stuck in traffic. As yush. And we’re on our way to our gig for Rappler and Jim just out of the blue asked me how it felt to have boobs. So I thought it was interesting enough to be a topic for our podcast. What were you saying, Jim?
Well, I think it’s so funny cos guys think that boobs are the greatest thing ever and I agree. I mean, boobs beat anything.
The world is.. The world is… The world REVOLVES because of boobs.
Industries, decisions made by government officials, can all be altered by the power of boobs.
Boobs or women?
Well boobs are attached to women
Kasi I always say, diba: women are divine. Women are the best thing ever. They’re supposed to rule the world but unfortunately someone made a sick joke and made men who are stupid apes have most control which is stupid
I like where this is going.
No, it’s really true kasi any major decision in the history of everything has been altered or was affected by boobs. Yes, women, yes. Behind every great man is a great woman, diba?
Pero I wanna specify the boobs
Hahaha okay, wait, wait, before we start talking more about boobs… How we got here was: we were talking about bras. Jim said, “how does it feel to wear a bra?” I said it sucks! Sabi niya, “how does it feel to have boobs that are heavy?” I said it sucks especially going down the stairs, mabigat siya and parang may pasa ka especially when you’re about to get your period. It just sucks but of course I LOVE my boobs. But it’s just kind of funny how men love boobs when [actually] boobs hurt. Hahaha labo
I’ve never said BOOBS this much
Pero anyway, bakit for guys, like kunwari I don’t.. Of course we feel there are stuff hanging, diba?
No, no, no, I’m trying to compare that diba kayo boobs are… hanging.
Diba? Guys: balls are hanging
I know and it’s so ugly diba, parang, did you ever hear a girl say, “FUCK! ANG GANDA NG BALLS NI…”
Diba? They don’t… It’s so stupid, again back to the domination thing.
Teka lang that would be so funny cos kunwari girls tend to show off their boobs and their cleavage. What if guys did the same with their balls? Gross
Yun lang, parang it’s so weird that the world is dominated by guys who carry such ugly things while girls carry like the greatest thing. Like, they’re better than mountains.
Hahhaa! But did you know that — well, you probably know this cos I’ve said this so many times, but for the sake of our podcast followers: the reason, I think, men are attracted to women with big boobs and a big butt is because nga it’s our natural instinct of–
Oh sorry wow there’s just an amazingly…
Wow, that was distracting
A smoke belcher here right in front of us. This is an Isuzu Crosswind–
I don’t think that’s him
I don’t think that’s him, it’s the truck
Ok sorry, well then scratch that anyway well back to our– WHOA SEE, IT’S HIM!
Oh it is!! It is!!
GOSHHHH TAKE A PICTURE OF THAT GUY. I-Viber mo talaga!! Sorry, sa likod niya nakalagay
TEXT/VIBER HOTLINES” MY GOODNESS
El Shaddai pa (he had a sticker)
Gosh. Try to take a video. Pang Top Gear yan. Hahaha we got distracted. Okay, pause. This is more important.
Okay, anyway, we’re back. That was a total fail. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that the attraction to boobs and a nice fat ass is man’s primal instinct to go for a woman who will carry their child a.k.a. having child-bearing hips and a big bosom to feed their child
Oh, have I never shared that with you?
That makes sense, right?
It’s like a subconscious thing.
Parang subconscious na parang you’re choosing the woman who will bear your children
Yeah it’s more of a subconscious thing..
Yeah, cos guys.. don’t WANT to get a girl pregnant hahaha
I don’t know how many guys wanted Pamela Anderson pregnant
That’s.. UGH. Okay, so it IS a subconscious thing
DI NGA! Sinasabi ko hindi naman necessarily na gusto mong ma-pregnant yung girl!
Oo ngaaa I’m saying lang
The attraction comes from
*RECORDING GETS CUT*
So, Candy called so it got cut. We’re back again. Any more things you wanna say about boobs?
Hahahaha here’s a thing. I’ve been meaning to ask you actually these past few weeks.
Can you, um.. Project towards the recorder?? Hahaha
Is there something about other people that you always remember? Like kunwari like a feature, like their hands?
Are you trying to tell me you remember girls by their boobs??
NOOOO NOOO no I’m saying, if you mention someone’s name, I might know his or her.. hands.
OH COME ON
You mean boobs
No no no not boobs! I don’t see that much people naked. [Note: I totally didn’t hear this part when we were talking but now that I’m transcribing it HAHAHA tawang tawa ako dito]
Ako ganun ako
Like whose hands? Ako siguro, [I remember someone’s] face?? Hahahahaha
Ako kasi I have a very deep memory. Like kunwari I can even remember how my… Cousin’s feet… My cousin who I haven’t seen in 15 years, I can still remember.
So you’re into body parts?
It’s not that I’m INTO it…
Not creepy at all
Wala kang ganun??
Like kunwari I mention someone’s name, hindi mo alam itsura ng ears?
No. Like, I know my little sister Clara’s ears are cute and weird [but no one else’s]
You can’t recreate his or her feature in your memory??
I can with eyes.
Yun nga, sabi ko nga FACE NGA
IBA NAMAN ANG FACE SA EYES KASI MALAMANG OF COURSE KUNG SINABI MONG, “KILALA MO SI GANYAN?” “OO ALAM KO YUNG FACE NUN”
Yeah but eyes are like… Normal. Hahahaa
Like, I don’t know anyone’s eyes.
Oh come on
Kunwari, bandmate natin, si Jason! You know his eyes.
I know his face, I don’t know his eyes. But I know his hands and his feet.
Actually, I know Jason’s facial expression.
Then it’s not his eyes
Maybe it’s the expression
WE’VE GONE TOO DEEP
Going back to BOOBS though… Hahahaha. Ummmm… Best boobs in Hollywood?
Best boobs in Hollywood?
GANDA KAYA NG BOOBS NIYA DUN
No. Probably Scarlet Johansson.
San mo siya nakitang [labas ang] boobey?
Well, [even when she’s wearing] clothes.
Oh okay so you don’t have to see an actual nipple?
And she had a movie when she was naked.
Nude scene? Saan?
Yeah. She’s an alien?
Can’t remember the movie but you can remember her boobs, huh?
Hahaha ummm top 3?
I think Katy Perry’s boobs are great.
They’re good. Okay, magpalitan tayo.
Yeah, Katy Perry.
Okay, mine would be…
OH DITA VON TEESE
She’s a burlesque dancer, stripper
Okay. Uhh.. Demi Moore?
I don’t see it
You haven’t seen Striptease?
No. But I do love her. You know she took out her boobs, right?
Yeah. Okay.. Top 3 balls?
TOP 3 BALLS????
Hahahaha! Christian Bale?
HAHAHHAA YES! HAHAHAHA! Tom Hiddlesworth! Hahahaa HiddlesWORTH
I dunno I was gonna do HiddleSWIFT and then….
Aaahhhh… OKAY. GONNA EAT A LOT OF PEACHES! Move into the country gonna eat a lot of peaches!
BUT– for the record?
YES. Of course ikaw ang favorite boobs ko
HAHAHHAHAHAAHA that’s twisted but thank you. Hahahhaa alright, hope this short but sweet episode was… moving
Move in to the country gonna eat a lot of peaches….
I guess, yeah, we’ll think of more serious topics next time. But enjoy. Bye!