Spell Saab

Domestic Dispute 3: Boobs and Other Body Parts

July 6, 2016 16 Comments

DISCLAIMER: SOBRANG LABO NG EPISODE NA TO. #SorryNotSorry

SAAB: It’s our third episode

JIM: Anong nangyari dun sa last one?

Hindi ko type eh. So just say it again, this is more interesting than the last one we taped.

I mean..

Alright, hi guys, welcome to episode 3 of domestic Dispute. We are currently stuck in traffic. As yush. And we’re on our way to our gig for Rappler and Jim just out of the blue asked me how it felt to have boobs. So I thought it was interesting enough to be a topic for our podcast. What were you saying, Jim?

Well, I think it’s so funny cos guys think that boobs are the greatest thing ever and I agree. I mean, boobs beat anything.

Boobs beat…

Anything.

Basketball?

Yeah!

Hahaha

Definitely

Okay

The world is.. The world is… The world REVOLVES because of boobs.

Hahaha

Seriously!

That’s tweetable.

Industries, decisions made by government officials, can all be altered by the power of boobs.

Boobs or women?

Of course

Well boobs are attached to women

Kasi I always say, diba: women are divine. Women are the best thing ever. They’re supposed to rule the world but unfortunately someone made a sick joke and made men who are stupid apes have most control which is stupid

Hahaha

Yun. So…

I like where this is going.

No, it’s really true kasi any major decision in the history of everything has been altered or was affected by boobs. Yes, women, yes. Behind every great man is a great woman, diba?

Mmmhmm

Pero I wanna specify the boobs

Hahaha okay, wait, wait, before we start talking more about boobs… How we got here was: we were talking about bras. Jim said, “how does it feel to wear a bra?” I said it sucks! Sabi niya, “how does it feel to have boobs that are heavy?” I said it sucks especially going down the stairs, mabigat siya and parang may pasa ka especially when you’re about to get your period. It just sucks but of course I LOVE my boobs. But it’s just kind of funny how men love boobs when [actually] boobs hurt. Hahaha labo

I’ve never said BOOBS this much

Hahaha

Pero anyway, bakit for guys, like kunwari I don’t.. Of course we feel there are stuff hanging, diba?

…Whaaat?

No, no, no, I’m trying to compare that diba kayo boobs are… hanging.

Hahahaha

Diba? Guys: balls are hanging

Oh God

I know and it’s so ugly diba, parang, did you ever hear a girl say, “FUCK! ANG GANDA NG BALLS NI…”

EWWWWWWW

Diba? They don’t… It’s so stupid, again back to the domination thing.

Teka lang that would be so funny cos kunwari girls tend to show off their boobs and their cleavage. What if guys did the same with their balls? Gross

Yun lang, parang it’s so weird that the world is dominated by guys who carry such ugly things while girls carry like the greatest thing. Like, they’re better than mountains.

Hahhaa! But did you know that — well, you probably know this cos I’ve said this so many times, but for the sake of our podcast followers: the reason, I think, men are attracted to women with big boobs and a big butt is because nga it’s our natural instinct of–

FUCK

Oh sorry wow there’s just an amazingly…

Grabe

Wow, that was distracting

That was…

A smoke belcher here right in front of us. This is an Isuzu Crosswind–

I don’t think that’s him

UYC 338

I don’t think that’s him, it’s the truck

Ok sorry, well then scratch that anyway well back to our– WHOA SEE, IT’S HIM!

Oh it is!! It is!!

GOSHHHH TAKE A PICTURE OF THAT GUY. I-Viber mo talaga!! Sorry, sa likod niya nakalagay
TEXT/VIBER HOTLINES” MY GOODNESS

El Shaddai pa (he had a sticker)

Gosh. Try to take a video. Pang Top Gear yan. Hahaha we got distracted. Okay, pause. This is more important.

***

Okay, anyway, we’re back. That was a total fail. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that the attraction to boobs and a nice fat ass is man’s primal instinct to go for a woman who will carry their child a.k.a. having child-bearing hips and a big bosom to feed their child

Oh!

Oh, have I never shared that with you?

Really?

That makes sense, right?

It’s like a subconscious thing.

Parang subconscious na parang you’re choosing the woman who will bear your children

Yeah it’s more of a subconscious thing..

Yeah, cos guys.. don’t WANT to get a girl pregnant hahaha

I don’t know how many guys wanted Pamela Anderson pregnant

That’s.. UGH. Okay, so it IS a subconscious thing

Yeah

DI NGA! Sinasabi ko hindi naman necessarily na gusto mong ma-pregnant yung girl!

Oo ngaaa I’m saying lang

The attraction comes from

Kayaaaa ngaaaa

*RECORDING GETS CUT*

So, Candy called so it got cut. We’re back again. Any more things you wanna say about boobs?

Hahahaha here’s a thing. I’ve been meaning to ask you actually these past few weeks.

Can you, um.. Project towards the recorder?? Hahaha

Is there something about other people that you always remember? Like kunwari like a feature, like their hands?

Are you trying to tell me you remember girls by their boobs??

NOOOO NOOO no I’m saying, if you mention someone’s name, I might know his or her.. hands.

OH COME ON

YES

You mean boobs

No no no not boobs! I don’t see that much people naked. [Note: I totally didn’t hear this part when we were talking but now that I’m transcribing it HAHAHA tawang tawa ako dito]

Hands??

Ako ganun ako

Like whose hands? Ako siguro, [I remember someone’s] face?? Hahahahaha

Ako kasi I have a very deep memory. Like kunwari I can even remember how my… Cousin’s feet… My cousin who I haven’t seen in 15 years, I can still remember.

So you’re into body parts?

It’s not that I’m INTO it…

Not creepy at all

Wala kang ganun??

WALA

Like kunwari I mention someone’s name, hindi mo alam itsura ng ears?

…NO

Hindi??

No. Like, I know my little sister Clara’s ears are cute and weird [but no one else’s]

You can’t recreate his or her feature in your memory??

I can with eyes.

Yun! Oh!

Yun nga, sabi ko nga FACE NGA

IBA NAMAN ANG FACE SA EYES KASI MALAMANG OF COURSE KUNG SINABI MONG, “KILALA MO SI GANYAN?” “OO ALAM KO YUNG FACE NUN”

Yeah but eyes are like… Normal. Hahahaa

Like, I don’t know anyone’s eyes.

Oh come on

I know!

Kunwari, bandmate natin, si Jason! You know his eyes.

I know his face, I don’t know his eyes. But I know his hands and his feet.

Actually, I know Jason’s facial expression.

Then it’s not his eyes

Maybe it’s the expression

Kay…

WE’VE GONE TOO DEEP

Hahahaha

Going back to BOOBS though… Hahahaha. Ummmm… Best boobs in Hollywood?

Best boobs in Hollywood?

Kate Winslet?

No

In Titanic?

No

GANDA KAYA NG BOOBS NIYA DUN

No. Probably Scarlet Johansson.

San mo siya nakitang [labas ang] boobey?

Well, [even when she’s wearing] clothes.

Oh okay so you don’t have to see an actual nipple?

And she had a movie when she was naked.

Nude scene? Saan?

Yeah. She’s an alien?

Can’t remember the movie but you can remember her boobs, huh?

Hahaha ummm top 3?

Yeah

Scarlett… Ummm..

I think Katy Perry’s boobs are great.

They’re good. Okay, magpalitan tayo.

Yeah, Katy Perry.

Okay, mine would be…

OH DITA VON TEESE

Who?

She’s a burlesque dancer, stripper

Okay. Uhh.. Demi Moore?

I don’t see it

You haven’t seen Striptease?

No

Angelina Jolie?

No. But I do love her. You know she took out her boobs, right?

Yeah. Okay.. Top 3 balls?

TOP 3 BALLS????

Hahahaha! Christian Bale?

HAHAHHAA YES! HAHAHAHA! Tom Hiddlesworth! Hahahaa HiddlesWORTH

Bakit Hiddlesworth?

I dunno I was gonna do HiddleSWIFT and then….

Aaahhhh… OKAY. GONNA EAT A LOT OF PEACHES! Move into the country gonna eat a lot of peaches!

BUT– for the record?

Yes.

*death stare*

YES. Of course ikaw ang favorite boobs ko

HAHAHHAHAHAAHA that’s twisted but thank you. Hahahhaa alright, hope this short but sweet episode was… moving

Move in to the country gonna eat a lot of peaches….

I guess, yeah, we’ll think of more serious topics next time. But enjoy. Bye!

♥,
Saab

Saab

16 Comments

  1. Reply

    Lyka Sumido

    July 6, 2016

    HAHAHAHA Bakit nakakatawa at sweet na “ikaw ang favorite boobs ko” hahahaha

    (“ikaw ang favorite balls ko” hahaha)

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 14, 2016

      HAHAHHAAHA ewwwwwww

  2. Reply

    PAT A

    July 7, 2016

    OH GOD BALLS ON DISPLAY CAN’T UNSEE IT NOW OH MY GOD NO WHYYYYYY

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 14, 2016

      Hahahaha I am so sorry

  3. Reply

    Pearly Jane

    July 7, 2016

    Reading the transcript alone is too funny OMYGAAAH HAHAHAHAHA you talk abt the most random things #relationshipgoals tlga. Hihi~

  4. Reply

    Clawdin

    July 7, 2016

    Saab, idk if my brain is just slow that i didnt get this but why do you or jim say/use this “Move in to the country gonna eat a lot of peaches….”?
    Does it mean something else? I’ve read it on your past posts (i cant remember what’s it about) and i really dont have a clue about it. Hehehe. Please enlighthen me. Thanks.. Love your blog so much.

  5. Reply

    Janice

    July 7, 2016

    Bosom po ata, not bussom :-)

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 14, 2016

      Whoops!! Thanks!

  6. Reply

    Kaye

    July 7, 2016

    Under the Skin yung movie ni Scarlett
    it’s weird but cool.
    Pero ultra weird. I suggest you watch it.
    I think Scarlett does have the best boobs
    next is Kendall Jenner firm and not saggy.

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 14, 2016

      Hahahaha thanks for the info! Oh yeah Kendall does!

  7. Reply

    Andi

    July 11, 2016

    Saab! May audition ba para sa pag-transcribe? Hahaha! I really wanna volunteer, if you need help lang naman! :)

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 14, 2016

      Hahahhaa sige good idea yan!!

  8. Reply

    Monica Iriberri

    July 17, 2016

    YAY finally got the time to listen to it cause soundcloud is blocked in our office (i kknow boo). I love that you transcribed it. YAY So funny the last part i love it!

  9. Reply

    Nica

    July 25, 2016

    Hilarious as ever. Hahah

  10. Reply

    mjxblanco

    April 6, 2017

    HAHAHAHA I love this!

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