“Did you throw up? Is that how you found out you were pregnant?”
Jim’s 8-year-old sister asked me this over dinner last night. I told her that wasn’t the case for me and she said matter-of-factly, “Usually, people throw up and that means they’re pregnant!” The girl watches a lot of TV and movies!😂 To be completely honest, I can’t say I knew a whole lot more than an 8-year-old.
When I was in college, I heard about a number of girls having pregnancy scares. Around that time, my mom introduced me to birth control pills as a way to regulate my period and keep my skin from breaking out. I’ve never missed a period for more than a day or two even when I went off the pill over a year ago. It’s safe to say I’ve never had a pregnancy scare.
Never missing my period made me feel either one of two things:
- I am the luckiest girl in the world!
- There is something wrong with me and I will never bear a child.
I’ve lived most of my adult life thinking this way so when I was on Day 5 of missing my period, I didn’t understand it. When I casually told Jim on Day 3, he just shrugged and said, “wala lang yan.” Ahh, men. They never have to deal with keeping track of the days when dirty blood streams from their privates! LOL.
On Day 5 (technically 6 because it was past midnight), I was already tipsy from taking shots at a bar with Jim and our friends. I kept giggling and whispering that I shouldn’t be drinking because I might be pregnant. He also laughed and we hugged and swayed and internally freaked out.
Going home, the alcohol had done its job by making me more anxious than usual. I demanded that Jim bring us to a drug store so we could buy a pregnancy test. It was around 2 AM and we were both tired. The nearest 24-hour drug store was quite far from our home so he was trying to bargain for a next day purchase. I started going off at him and he finally snapped.
“Why are you acting as if being pregnant would be the worst thing in the world??”
He sounded so hurt but because I’d been drinking and wasn’t thinking straight, I automatically became defensive and wanted to fire back at him. I shouted, “Eh kung pagbili nga lang ng pregnancy test, ayaw mong gawin eh!! How are we going to be parents?!” HAHAHA I know, I can be pretty horrible :(
So we went to the drug store, tensions all high, only to learn that pregnancy tests were out of stock. GREAT!
We both went to bed that night feeling really bad. :(
The next day, we went about our day as normal. We don’t really keep in touch during work hours. Towards the end of the day, I got a text from him that he bought pregnancy tests and I could take them when he got home.
Before taking any tests, we sat down and talked. I apologized for being a bad drunk and hurting his feelings the night before. He told me that he’s always respected my views on not having children right away but he was concerned because once or twice in the past, I had declared to friends that I imagined us without any children. It wasn’t what we initially discussed when we got married and he felt like it was a decision we should be able to make together.
Although I completely understand the choice not to have children, I must admit that I subconsciously used this mindset as a defense mechanism because of my fear that I wouldn’t be able to bear any. (By the way, I took some tests last year with my OB-GYNE and everything checked out so I don’t know why I still believed there was something wrong with my reproductive health!!)
I explained this all to Jim and we made up before taking the test.
We agreed to accept whatever the result was, and we would deal with it together.
I peed on the stick, waited a couple of minutes and we only saw one line (negative). We hugged and went on with our lives – he played 2K18, I watched Grey’s Anatomy.
Still, I felt strange because 1) WHERE THE HECK WAS AUNT FLOW?? and 2) maybe I wanted that stick to show two lines??
Over an hour later, I went back into the bathroom where we left the test and there was a distinct second line. My heart stopped and I called Jim. We freaked out for a little while until Google pointed out that it could just be an evaporation line that shows up when the test has been out for too long. We decided to take the second pregnancy test the next morning since Google also pointed out that it’s best to take a PT using your first pee of the day.
This faint second line showed up in a matter of minutes but since we both had never taken a pregnancy test before, I sent my OB-GYNE a message and he said to drop by that same day. I took a hospital-grade test and my doctor said “congratulations!”
That was the moment that changed our lives forever.
We couldn’t contain our excitement and happiness. I didn’t think I would be automatically 100% ready to change my life for this baby but I was! Jim and I looked at each other with huge eyes telepathically saying WTFFFFFF OMGGGGG. Hahaha! I don’t think I’ll ever forget that. We couldn’t stop smiling for days.
The hardest part was having to keep it a secret from everybody until the first ultrasound.
But that’s another story because, as you know by now, we were in for a double surprise!