WARNING: this blog post might have a little too much information. It will get bloody.
I got my period last night so I wore a sanitary pad right before going to bed. Very early this morning, I was lying on my belly and Jim rolled over to hug me. When his arm hit my butt, it felt a little damp and because he was half-asleep he just rolled back to his side of the bed. I was very sleepy but I knew I couldn’t pretend it wasn’t what I suspected. After a full 5 seconds and a full sigh, I got up and saw blood on the sheets.
Every woman has woken up in a small pool of blood
— Saab (@saabmagalona) March 22, 2017
The bathroom was just a few steps from the bed but I walked like I was wearing a dirty diaper. I pulled down my shorts and I didn’t understand why my pad only had a few blots on it. My period seemed to have just slid off it, creating a murder scene on my underwear and shorts.
None of this was really registering, of course, because it was 4:30 in the morning and I just wanted to go back to sleep. So I did the drill: I threw the mess in the sink, washed myself, and scrubbed the bloody duo while completely naked down there. I put on a fresh pair of underwear and pad so I could climb back in bed to cuddle with Jim. Cuddling with him was also a tactic to avoid my bloody part of the mattress. (I dealt with that hours later – when I woke up for real.)
I haven’t had a leaky night in years. I’ve been on birth control pills since I started college. A pimple appeared on my nose and when I asked mom how to get rid of it, she gave me the usual skin care routine and told me how birth control pills could also help clear it up. I’m pretty sure it was her subtle way of telling me not to get pregnant yet. Over a decade later: my skin’s close to perfect and I have zero unwanted pregnancies under my belt. Thanks, mom.
I went off the pill late last year just for the heck of it. Still not actively trying to get pregnant but I just figured I wanted to go back to the days when I didn’t have to take a pill at the same time every day. Ma-try lang. Haha! All those years on the pill made my period very regular and lighter than ever. Now that I’m off it, I feel like my body’s getting used to it so this cycle has been very “clotty” hence the non-absorption by the pad.
Being off the pill has also thrown off my cycle awareness. Before, when my pills would run out, I knew I was going to get my period in a few days. Now, I’m almost always caught off guard. I should really start forecasting it on my bullet journal, noh? It’s like I’m getting to know my body all over again and I’ve been very emotional since yesterday about all of this. It reminded me of this video by Glamour called “This is Your Period in 2 Minutes”
So true, right? It made me think of how I usually have a whole week of feeling like I can rule the world and that I’ve finally cracked the code to “How To Get Shit Done” until the following week when I just feel like a complete loser so I completely give up on my responsibilities.
Perhaps being on the pill kept my emotions at bay? I feel like I’m going through puberty all over again haha! Might as well stop treating my period like an unwanted visitor, right? If I’m about to get this emotional every month, I’m going to make it my “monthly feelings companion” LOL. What the heck am I saying??? What I mean to say is that I might as well put all this emotion to good use. I figured I should write about it in case it helps anybody feel less alone. I just felt like I needed to share this because I can’t be the only one to feel a little lost.
Another reason why I wanted to write about this is because I wanted to discuss menstrual cups. I’d feel less lost (and loser-y haha) if I knew I was helping save the planet from disposable pad- and tampon use. I learned that they products waste that’s 6 times as heavy as the frickin’ Titanic — and that’s just in the USA!! That’s just grossly irresponsible and I don’t want to contribute to it anymore. If you have any experience with menstrual cups and/or if you’re as curious as I am, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter.
Currently, I’m torn between the Diva Cup & Lily Cup Compact. Leaning more towards the latter. Also, I’m probably going back on the pill eventually because my gynecologist said it’s good for me but I’m gonna give it a few more months. Wala lang.
I wasn’t sure if I should actually publish this on my blog because it might gross you out, but if you’re grossed out by the female body then FUCK YOU.
Omg, sorry, that wasn’t me!! That was my period talking!!😅