Spell Saab

Relationship =/= Prison

· Cheats in San Francisco | Photo by Juddhas Semana, 2017 ·

July 13, 2017 58 Comments

“Grabe, may boyfriend ka na, diba?”

“Hoy, may asawa ka na.”

“Nanay ka na, mahiya ka nga!”

A lot of people believe that being in a relationship means automatically being banned from talking to the opposite sex. I admit, I was once a very jealous girlfriend and I made a lot of rules up in my head about how people in relationships should behave. The rules I created (and society propagated) were obviously not the key to a healthy relationship.

A few weeks ago, Jim and I hung out with a group of people that included an ex-boyfriend of mine. Days later, I learned from Jim that one of our friends had asked him how he did it.

“He asked how I’m able to tolerate you and your ex talking right in front of me.”

I was surprised because I wasn’t SUPER friends with that ex of mine although we talked just as much as, if not much less than, everybody else in that group. I was conscious enough not to cross any line and I didn’t want to be inappropriate with our interaction. Jim reminded me that the friend who asked him was much younger and was going through a break-up of his own.

“I told him that just because you’re my wife and you have a ring on your finger, it doesn’t mean you’re my property.”

I was curious to hear the rest of his answer because I was ready for him to get upset and tell me off for speaking to someone I dated before him.

Jim told me that he took it as an opportunity to educate our younger friend about being in a relationship. “Sabi ko I won’t be able to control it if you find yourself falling in love with another person. All I can do is this: liligawan kita everyday para, hopefully, sa akin ka lang in love.”

You guessed it – I cried when he said that. As the youngins say: when will your fave ever?😭

Just the fact that he communicated this with me has made our relationship stronger. It’s true – we may have exchanged vows but let’s be real: I don’t want to stay married just because I’m not allowed to break a promise. I want to stay married because I’m head over feet in love with my partner. This goes for all relationships, not just married folk. Just because you say “I do” to committing to each other, it’s not a guarantee that you’re going to be together forever. It isn’t “period, no erase!” Relationships aren’t supposed to be a prison or a trap.

I just wanted to share wise words from my husband because I think more people need to think this way. Of course, it’s not a one-way street. I’m also constantly aiming for his affection. I guess the saying, “if you love someone, set them free” does not always pertain to the end. Trust that your relationship has a strong foundation, but don’t slack off and think that a label is enough to make things last.

As for that younger friend of ours, he was able to figure out what to do with his relationship and he bought his “kuya Jim” lunch to show his gratitude.👍🏻 Hehe. Yay, love!

♥,
Saab

July 13, 2017

Saab

58 Comments

  1. Reply

    justine

    July 13, 2017

    OMG naiyak din ako. haha <3

  2. Reply

    Anonymous

    July 13, 2017

    Hi Saab,

    I couldn’t agree more. Me and my boyfriend just turned 6 years last April and masasabi ko talaga na nag-mature kami. Dati, malaman ko lang na his ex gf is around, I always get worried. Pero habang tumatagal, mas nasesecure yung feelings ko sa kanya and vice versa. Now, di na ako takot. I know we’re mature enough to be around people who once was part of our lives kasi yun na yun eh. Those memories will never be erased basta ang importante, mahal niya ako at mahal ko siya. We’ve both happy. <3

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 13, 2017

      Thank you so much for sharing!! It’s good to hear your relationship gets stronger through the years :)

  3. Reply

    Kaaay

    July 13, 2017

    Love this blog! Thanks for sharing, Saab! :) worth reading.

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 13, 2017

      Thanks for appreciating :)

  4. Reply

    Lauren Young

    July 13, 2017

    This is so beautiful Saab!! Jim is such a great guy!!! ❤️❤️❤️

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 13, 2017

      He really is, besh!!!😭

  5. Reply

    Kate

    July 13, 2017

    Awww. Hope my hubby would read this pro hindi sya mahilig magbasa lalo na about love. Hehe.

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 13, 2017

      Hahaha ikwento mo nalang LOL

  6. Reply

    Mimi

    July 13, 2017

    This made me cry. Thanks for sharing this Ms. Saab! ❤️

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 13, 2017

      Awww happy tears, I hope!

  7. Reply

    Pearly Jane

    July 13, 2017

    Aaaaaw, Jim! :”>

    Pero agree, grabe. I’ve had friends na their bfs/gfs limit the things they do, like madaming bawal. I mean, I’m not gonna pry into your relationship because I’m just a friend pero yung tipong daming restrictions na it’s not healthy anymore. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean your SO should be your ONLY world. Ugh

    Okay, back to AAAAW, JIM (and SAAB)! <3

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 13, 2017

      No to toxic relationships! I hope they come to their senses soon enough hehe.

  8. Reply

    bitbit

    July 13, 2017

    ahhhhh i wanna cry i love you saab and jim!

  9. Reply

    Jing

    July 13, 2017

    huhu kakatouch! ♥♥♥

  10. Reply

    Jess

    July 13, 2017

    Meron ka pa bang isang Jim na tinatago diyan? pwede bang akin na lang? sobrang sweet niya that’s why I super love hiim!! :( PS: Haba ng hair mo girl kainggit!!

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 13, 2017

      Hahaha I really struck gold!!

  11. Reply

    Mayumi

    July 13, 2017

    Aww kinilig ako dun! Ligawan everyday aye. More relationship advice posts from you and kuya jim pls. and ps, You inspire me to blog hehe ❤️

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 13, 2017

      Aww hey Mayumi!! KUYA JIM! Hahahhahaa! Congrats on the new blog!!!<3

  12. Reply

    Jojo

    July 13, 2017

    First time reading your blogs and this just came at the right time. Currently in a less than a month old relationship now (after 5 years) and i feel like im a “newbie” again – so cant help but get jealous whenever the “ex” topic comes around. Jim said it right, and so thankful to you Saab for sharing this. Take care!

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 13, 2017

      Glad to help!! Good luck with your new relationship :)

  13. Reply

    Rosie

    July 13, 2017

    Jim is the perf guy for you, OMG. Love you Saab!

    PS. are you talking about Mong Hahahahaha

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 13, 2017

      LOL no! :)

  14. Reply

    Kats Aguas

    July 13, 2017

    For a second there I thought I was reading a published book with your genuine thoughts. I’m guilty of the “Period, No erase” perception so it made me rethink my views on relationships. Thanks Saab!

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 13, 2017

      You’re welcome :)

  15. Reply

    Quenna

    July 13, 2017

    u guys are the best <3 <3 :'(

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 13, 2017

      <3

  16. Reply

    Lois

    July 13, 2017

    Nice blog! Thank for sharing, ate Saab! Kuya Jim is really inspirational, so as you! Stay in love <3

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 13, 2017

      Thank you ☺️

  17. Reply

    Real

    July 13, 2017

    #CloneJimMovement <3

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 13, 2017

      😂

  18. Reply

    Grems

    July 13, 2017

    “All I can do is this: liligawan kita everyday para, hopefully, sa akin ka lang in love.” 😭😭😭😭 Sobrang nakakakilig na nakakaiyak 😭❤️

    I super agree that just because you’re in a relationship with a person it doesn’t mean that he/she is your property! Yung mas mahigpit pa yung partner mo than your parents, nightmare!! 😳😂 You and Jim are definitely perfect for each other!! All the best <33333

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 18, 2017

      Thank you, Grems!!

  19. Reply

    KAtey

    July 13, 2017

    Hi saab! Please make more blog about your healthy married life with jim 😁 . This really inspires us😍 By the way Thankyou for this!

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 18, 2017

      Okay hehehe

  20. Reply

    Jen

    July 13, 2017

    i just got married too and i couldnt agree more. Thank you for this! Please blog more about relationship advices ❤️

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 18, 2017

      Will do :)

  21. Reply

    Erika

    July 13, 2017

    Aww!! Thank you for sharing, Saab! Jim is such a great guy, sobrang blessed mo gurl! :)

    I admit I still feel uncomfortable when the topic is about exes. My boyfriend and I had issues about it before so maybe that’s why. hope every guy have Jim’s wisdom! Wala na sigurong mga babaeng iiyak dahil hurt sila hahaha. God bless the both of you omg super relationship goals talaga huhu!

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 18, 2017

      Sobrang swerte ko talaga, swear 😫

  22. Reply

    Jae x SCATTERBRAIN

    July 13, 2017

    You sure married a keeper, Saab ;)

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 18, 2017

      I really did huhu

  23. Reply

    Mina

    July 14, 2017

    Hi Saab! I am totally relating to this. Not the in a relationship part though haha! Recently went through a friendship breakup because his (my friend) partner didn’t want him to be friends with our group anymore because of a petty reason. Heartbreaking how this woman controls his husband. Love this post ❤️

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 18, 2017

      Just don’t cross any lines — the wife always comes first :) Ipag-pray mo nalang na mabasa ng wife itong post na to haha

  24. Reply

    Ayeesha

    July 14, 2017

    I love this post. I am a jealous girlfriend. It’s something I need to work on. Huhu. But I am changing my ways.

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 18, 2017

      Kaya yan!!!! If I can do it, you can too!:D

  25. Reply

    Andyyy

    July 14, 2017

    huhuhuhu :'( Will I ever find my own ‘Jim”? :'(

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 18, 2017

      Think positive hehe

  26. Reply

    GemLife

    July 14, 2017

    Guilty of being possessive and jealous GF ever since buti nalang very understanding and forgiving ng bf ko, I’m trying to change naman little by little and improve myself, thank you for sharing this, it really helps me realize how important it is to let go of those things, getting married soon! whoa!

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 18, 2017

      You’re welcome!! Good luck!;)

  27. Reply

    Bae M.

    July 16, 2017

    Saab, I love that bit where you said years ago, you were a jealous girlfriend. Now you’ve changed. It gives me a bit of comfort knowing that relationships (and people in the relationship) can improve overtime. And NOT just because you’ve had huge misunderstandings (jealousy, etc.), quits na agad. Thanks for this! You and Jim are so good for each other. :)

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 18, 2017

      You’re welcome!!

  28. Reply

    Yana

    July 17, 2017

    HUHUHUHU JIM and SAAB for life <3

    • Reply

      Saab

      July 18, 2017

      <3<3

  29. Reply

    Ricca Torres

    July 19, 2017

    This is so inspiring! Will patiently wait for someone who treats girls the way Jim does 💜

  30. Reply

    Alellilolu

    July 25, 2017

    You definitely found your One True Love Ate Saab. 💕 Sana ako din *fingers-crossed*

  31. Reply

    Lauren

    July 29, 2017

    Uhhh… So much love! tumaba puso ko!

  32. Reply

    Cam

    August 7, 2017

    Hey Saab! It’s true. Label’s dont make the relationship last, but believe it or not, love won’t, too. :)

    Sometimes it’s just by being totally committed that even when there is no ligaw everyday, or when some days are not the best days, or when it’s hard to love, we choose to stay because we are committed. Not just to our partner, but to God, the One we made our covenant to. :)

    God hates divorce. And when we love God with all our heart, mind and soul, we think of Him first before what we feel. God in His righteousness has no other agenda but to bless us and when we are filled with the love and mercy of God, we don’t see cold days as an escape but more of faith-strengthening days. :)

    When two people join in union, it’s not that you are imprisoned to them or that you are somebody else’s property, BUT you are one. :) You cannot break up with yourself, right? :)

    Matthew 19:4-6 (NIV) “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

    Marriage lang is a very important topic for me, coming from a broken family, I once thought I don’t want to get married anymore. But after being a Christian, and knowing that God is the third-strand, I realized that trials in marriage are not battles we face alone :)

    Marriage is non-sense if we think we can still break up with our spouse. (unless ofcourse if you are harassed, you can leave the house, but not get married again to another one) The world will try to convince us that we can break up even after marriage, but the world is just so full of giving up. Maybe we have to have our minds renewed and think righteously – The Bible can help us with this. :) So we prayerfully ask God for the right one, and prayerfully love our partners because it’s not by our might and strength can we have long and lasting marriages, but only by the Spirit of God. :) #share

    • Reply

      Saab

      August 8, 2017

      Thanks for sharing!:) Still, I stand by being in love with the person you’re with and making an effort to be lovable. Sure, there are bad days when you’ll both be in bad moods — we’re not robots. That doesn’t mean one of us is allowed to stray from our relationship. It’s all about communication, just like when Jim told me how he felt. He’s not LITERALLY going to court me every day, that’s too much to ask of someone. It’s more about him telling me his intent and that he is trying. That makes me want to try to be worthy of his love every day as well. I don’t believe that love does not last. :)

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