Spell Saab


April 18, 2017 22 Comments

NOTE: I wrote this post a week ago but didn’t get to publish it!!

I just finished watching 13 Reasons Why. I have a lot of feelings right now.

13 Reasons Why is a Netflix original series based on the very popular book of the same title. I haven’t read the book but I first found out about the series through Selena Gomez, who happens to be an executive producer of the show. It’s about Hannah Baker, a high school junior who commits suicide, and the 13 reasons why she did it.

Tweeted this when I saw that it was finally up on Netflix:

Now if you haven’t watched the show, please don’t read beyond this line because I don’t want to spoil it for you! Go binge-watch it now! GO!


By the way, there is a huge lack of GIFs available so I took the liberty of creating some. ~YOU’RE WELCS~

The opening billboard reminded me so much of a video game I used to play called Life Is Strange. Come to think of it, the game and the show had very similar themes. Bullying, depression, suicide. Plus, both had very good soundtracks.

They’re both very emo and teenage angst-y. We’ve all been there, right? But it’s not the same for everyone.

I was also reminded of The Virgin Suicides. This exchange in particular is one that struck me really hard:

I wouldn’t want to completely spoil it for you in case you haven’t seen it yet, but the character in the photo above (Cecilia) has a lot in common with Hannah.

The first time I saw Clay Jensen. I thought, “is this the guy from The Perks of Being A Wallflower?” (Nope, that was Logan Lerman) I didn’t enjoy Perks so I was ready to hate this show. But Clay is SO CUTE. He’s like that platonic guy friend whose head you want to pat. The guy you want to set up with all your single girlfriends but you never do because you know he’s too good for anybody you know. And then eventually, you realize it’s because you want him for yourself. AY MAY GANON?! Hahaha. Pero diba?! Clay is that guy you wanna take a nap with because he looks so tired of life and you know he would never try to touch you unless you give your clear consent. Swoon.

And then there’s Hannah Baker. I didn’t like her during the first half of the series because IDK. Clay is such a sweetheart and she’s just so pa-cool and mean to him. Calling him a goody-goody and making fun of him for wearing a protective helmet (he wouldn’t have messed up his angelic face if he was wearing it, Hannah!!). I have to admit there was also a piece of me that was ready to yell “PAPANSIN” about her tapes. Later on in the show, the other characters voiced my initial reaction and I was horrified.

It’s so easy for 28-year-old-me to just say “jeez, get over it” and I find myself thinking that way quite often. I seem to forget that I was young once and I’ve had my battles with depression, anxiety, and the feeling that the world is watching my every move, just waiting for me to mess up. Call it self-absorption if you must. Psychologists call it adolescent egocentrism. It’s when teenagers think that others are paying more attention to them than they actually are. Speaking of being self-centered, WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT MYSELF INSTEAD OF THE SHOW?! Hahaha. Feeling teenager pa rin daw ako. Lels.

The cast was great, I thought they did an awesome job of making us hate them but also feel for them.

Justin Foley is a major coward but he’s a product of his cowardly mother who never protected him. I thought the actor played the part VERY well. He reminded me of Dave Franco’s usual roles. The lovable douchebag. I have very conflicted feelings about him. I hate him but I also feel sorry for him. :(

Alex Standall‘s cuteness was so distracting. Sure, he ruined the FML FOREVER trio by hooking up with Jess and then voting for Hannah as BEST ASS in a stupid list he and the other boys in school made. Takes me back to college Freshman year when my friends and I kept making lists of who’s “in” and who’s “out” of our college barkada every week. It was so dumb. We also made lists of who we hated and who we liked. Of course, the lists never got leaked but just being a part of that makes me feel really gross. I can’t put the blame entirely on my friends because we were all in on it and we just didn’t want to feel left out. SHOCKING TWIST: I was part of the “out” list the following year. Back to Alex Standall: his short blond head, inconspicuous septum ring, feminine traits, and slight lisp would be enough for me to forgive him. Hahaha. Just kidding. Do I sound like I’m boy-crazy?! I’m really not. I just appreciate the cute boys from this show. Bakit wala namang ganun sa school ko dati?! Chos.

BTW I had a strangely familiar FML-triangle experience but that’s for another blog post. Ano ba yan, ang daming na-bring up na issues nitong show na to ha.

I was so ready to hate the gorgeous Jessica Davis after she slapped a totally faultless Hannah but I ended up feeling so bad about everything she went through. I guess her story goes to show that you can get pretty messed up and insecure even if you come from a very loving and supportive family. :( Also, I absolutely love the actress’ laugh.

Tyler Down is a total fucking creep who needs to get help. Like. Right. Now. I find it hard to feel sorry for him about being bullied because he’s a pervert who climbs trees to take photos inside a girl’s bedroom. I hate him.

I was happy for some Asian representation (LOL) at first but Courtney Crimson is the most facepalm-inducing bitch in the series, I think. I get the whole getting-mad-at-the-leaked-photo thing but my goodness was she wrong about who to blame. She should have just joined forces with Hannah to take down Tyler! I mean, okay, you’re gay. It’s 2017 and even with your gay adoptive parents, you’re still one of the most popular girls in school. Doesn’t that say so much about how it’s OKAY to come out? I know that it should be HER choice when to come out but I really don’t think that hiding her sexuality warrants keeping quiet about a rape or two??

The Marcus Cooley/Cole character just baffles me. At first, with the goofy El Niño costume, I thought he was like Clay who was more of a wallflower and a nerd. Then the Dollar Valentine Date thing happens and he’s suddenly a total jerky jock who tries to feel up Hannah right in the diner. W H Y. I mean, she said yes to a date! She waited for an hour! Why did he have to sexually assault her? There was no evidence at all that he was trying to be part of the “in” crowd prior to that. If he did, I probably missed it.

Zach Dempsey was just a dumb jock who had a crush on her and got his feelings hurt so he stole some compliments and didn’t reply to her letter (I’m so curious about the letter!!). I know Hannah says he’s not used to getting rejected that’s why he acted that way, but what if it was deeper than that? He seemed like a total good boy at home and he’s so sweet with his mom and sister. I think we all do stupid things when we get humiliated and get our hearts broken. But I guess that’s the point of the whole show — you have to be held accountable for your actions because you can’t be sure what somebody is going through. (He also plays Reggie in CW’s Riverdale. Daming raket ni kuya!)

Ryan Shaver is the guy with the least trace of guilt on his face. He’s like, “I stole your poem and published it. So what? It’s a good poem and I kept you anonymous.” It’s an asshole thing to do without getting the writer’s consent, definitely, but I guess if you compare it to everything else on that tape I can understand why he didn’t feel ashamed of what he did. Another point of Hannah’s tapes? You can keep comparing your kupal moves to other more kupal moves but these things all add up. Just.. IDK. Maybe….. DON’T BE KUPAL?!

Sheri Holland (yeah, I Googled her last name) probably caused the death of poor Jeff Atkins because she didn’t report accidentally knocking over a STOP sign. Even if the stop sign was knocked over, I personally don’t think Jeff should have been going that fast at an intersection since he had a couple of beers (even if it was two hours ago). I also wish he was wearing a seatbelt. I feel bad for Sheri who will forever live with that guilt. But most importantly, where was the toxicology test to prove Jeff wasn’t drunk??

And then there’s Bryce Walker, arguably the worst fictional character ever. It was very uncomfortable watching the rape scenes. I think that’s exactly what the creators were going for. They wanted the viewers to feel discomfort because, yes, this is what happens on the regular. Some guys really think that they can just take what they want. What’s worse is that until the very end, he seemed confused as to why people were getting mad at him. I don’t think he understands what he did was very wrong. Just remembering those scenes is so painful. :( Bryce Walker is the worst. The others on the tape are also the worst for waiting so long before telling the authorities. 7 tapes passed around to 10 people?? That’s a long time.

Mr. Porter is the worst because he’s an actual adult. A few episodes in and I already hated him. Like, what is your purpose on this earth?! How the heck did you become a guidance counselor?? It’s like he’s always thinking of other things. How are you supposed to help children solve their problems when it seems like you’ve got a lot of problems of your own? He doesn’t smile, doesn’t seem like he wants to talk, doesn’t seem to really listen. TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE WHEN YOU’RE IN A SESSION, YOU ASS HAT.

And remember: Tony Padilla is not following Clay.

So did I like the TV show? I guess it leaves a lot of questions unanswered like who wouldn’t listen to the tapes in one go especially if it starts with Hannah saying it would explain why she killed herself? I don’t know. I admit I still can’t listen to my dad’s songs without my heart breaking a little bit, but it’s not as if there’s a mystery that needs solving. I hope I don’t come across as insensitive but I would have listened to all the tapes even if I cried through it all because it’s just much bigger than my feelings. It could help those that Hannah left behind, especially her parents.

The cast was great, the teenagers were fun to watch, but Hannah’s parents just broke my heart. They’re just like most parents. They’re not perfect.

Oh, Mr. Baker :( Even if they’re flawed human beings, they didn’t deserve finding their daughter dead. It was just heart-wrenching. It’s a reminder for us to think of the people we’d leave behind if we ever think of giving up. Yep, the show leaves a lot of questions unanswered and it leaves us feeling a little frustrated because most of us think that Hannah could have easily been “saved.” But it’s launched us to talk extensively about who was right, who was wrong, what happened, what could have been done, and ask so many more questions about suicide and prevention. I mean, it got me to write this super duper long blog post complete with animated gifs.


  • I would like to know more about Clay’s “gay rumors” in Freshman year!
  • Ano kayang drama ni Skye?
  • Why exactly did Hannah choose Tony to keep her secrets safe?
  • It’s nice to see Lane Kim from Gilmore Girls again
  • Who was leaving the bunny compliments for Hannah?
  • Are Alex and Justin really dating in real life?!? THEY ARE GORGEOUS
  • If you listen closely, you can catch Hannah’s Aussie accent in some scenes!
  • Tony is Aga Muhlach


Feel free to use on Twitter etc!

Would love to know what you think of the show.

In need of help? Visit 13reasonswhy.info


P.S. I downloaded a sample of the book on my Kindle but it wasn’t my cup of tea! Ack. Maybe because I read it after watching the series? Idk. Should I bother reading it?



  1. Reply

    Kats Aguas

    April 18, 2017

    I too have a lot of questions after binge-watching the series! I think the bunny compliments are from Clay. Remember that scene in Crestmont where Clay was doodling a bunny on his notebook? And have you seen the bunny on Hannah’s locker? Ugggh

    • Reply


      April 18, 2017

      OHHHHHH YEAH!! Good eye!

  2. Reply


    April 18, 2017

    Hey, Saab. I read the book before watching the show. Here’s some insights on some of your ‘questions’
    – In the book everything happened in one night
    – The original ending was that Hannah somehow survived but according to the author he didn’t end it that way because he wanted to give an emphasis on how little things can really affect someone’s life
    – It was confirmed few days ago that Alex and Justin is not dating

    That’s all! Love you, Saab! :)

    • Reply


      April 18, 2017

      AWWWWW that last one broke my heart huhuhuu cute nila together. Thank you!

  3. Reply


    April 18, 2017

    Hi Saab!

    To answer your question “Who was leaving the bunny compliments for Hannah?” — It was Clay. In a scene where Clay and the rest of the school board were questioning Alex and Montgomery, Clay was doodling a bunny. :D

    I love this series, such an eye-opener.

    What did you think about the ending?

  4. Reply


    April 18, 2017

    The bunny compliments were from Clay. In a previous scene, while they were in the theater, he was drawing those bunnies. :)

  5. Reply


    April 18, 2017

    I believe the bunny drawings are Clay’s! But now that you’ve mentioned it, I wonder why he didn’t acknowledge them when Hannah mentioned them on tape.
    And Clay did listen to all the tapes in one sitting on the book. I guess, for dramatic effect, they wanted to give emphasis on Clay’s paranoia by choosing to have breaks (?) on listening.
    I’m w you in not liking Hannah’s character on the beginning of the show! But I didn’t feel that when I was reading the book! Maybe because it’s years ago already? But I feel like they made her unlikable, as compared to the character in the book with whom you can really relate.

  6. Reply


    April 19, 2017

    I’m so addicted to the series OMGGGG!!! I read the book in 2012 and same feelings i got after watching the series – sadness, anger, and hearts breaking :(

    let me join you!
    a. Hannah chose Tony because they were neighbors??
    b. I think it was Clay who was leaving the bunny compliments for Hannah
    d. Totally, aga muhlach nga! hahaha

    Please read the book! For sure you can finish it in a day hehehe.

  7. Reply


    April 20, 2017

    “Who was leaving the bunny compliments for Hannah?”

    I think it’s Clay. Remember the part where he was doodling a bunny??

    Great blog btw. Love you Saab ❤️❤️❤️

  8. Reply


    April 20, 2017

    – I feel sorry for Hannah because her trust was broken too many times.
    – Why was Clay so torpe kasi!
    – Hannah was the typical kind of girl who would say one thing, but meant another thing. (Go, but don’t go.)
    – I know that not everyone is strong enough to handle all the negative stuff, but I hope they think about the people who care for them before they decide offing themselves. This may sound a little too insensitive, but thinking of ending our life just because life is tough is a bit selfish. Say, I ended my life because of all the shit I was going through. Then my mom, my brother, and my partner would be left with all the bills and heartache. My children… What would happen to them without me?😢
    Hannah was having a tough time, and boy was it tough! She was scared, she felt lost and dirty. But wasn’t it tough for her parents, too? They were broken hearted and confused, and probably kept blaming themselves for not being good enough.
    Her parents aren’t perfect, but they’re very kind to her. Having a mother who is willing to talk about something personal or intimate (which Hannah wasn’t keen on), a father to let her drive a brand new car for a dance (which refused to start because she left the lights on for hours), not getting punished for losing a lot of money..
    – Pero ayun nga, as much as possible, BE KIND. We have no idea what others are going through.
    – Open up. Talk to someone.
    – Si Clay ung kuya sa Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day tsaka sa Don’t Breathe.
    – Sabi rin ni Guil, Tony looks like Aga Muhlach! “😘💕

  9. Reply


    April 21, 2017

    I thought your blog blocked my IP coz I can’t seem to seamlessly browse this blogpost of yours but lo! and behold, its because I think of the GIFs involved.

    I read the book super way back and yes, we have the same initial thoughts about it. Hannah is the papansin gurl (hahaha) but I missed out on the voice that they are conveying here. I missed out when I subtly cut my hair to a guys haircut back in HS because I dunno I hate my pa gurly classmates way back whose life in school is all about dating varsity players. God, I just realize I spend my whole after class in the library specifically in the mythology and mind over matter section just because.. I think nobody understands me.

    I’ll watch this one. As always, this post is a arse kickin’ one tho with spoilers but nah who cares. :)

  10. Reply


    April 21, 2017

    Love your thoughts about the show, Saab <3 I actually really liked the series because it opened up a lot of discussion regarding important issues like rape and suicide. However, I feel conflicted about the fact that the show chose to include triggering scenes for those who are actually vulnerable to suicide and have suicidal tendencies. I hope that the show offers/promotes some psychological assistance for the people who have already watched it and have been affected :/

  11. Reply


    April 21, 2017

    Hi Saab.! I am a super fan of yours since college, now I am a working girl na., Haha. I think we are on the same age. :) Anyways, you mentioned you’ve downloaded the copy of the book on your Kindle, can you share it to me? Hoping you will notice this. I super duper love you. :*

    • Reply


      April 21, 2017

      Hi Laarnie! Thanks for reading my blog! I downloaded a sample from the Amazon store on my Kindle. :)

  12. Reply


    April 21, 2017

    Hi Saab! You should give the book a try. I read in 2014 and finished it one day because I wanna know all the reasons. I want to watch the series because of what you wrote. I’m a big fan of yours.

  13. Reply


    April 21, 2017

    YESSSSSSSSSSS i’m happy also to see Lane Kim! But I couldn’t believe it! Sobrang naloka ako kay ate gurl like anyare :( and another thing, IM GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW THE RESEMBLANCE OF TONY AND AGA MUHLACH.

    • Reply


      April 24, 2017

      HAHAHAHHA Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life lol

  14. Reply


    April 22, 2017

    Clay created the bunny compliments for Hannah.
    The book focuses on Hannah and Clay, they don’t tell/narrate the perspective of the other characters which was shown in the series.

    I just love the use of mixtapes – so old skul! #90sKidRepresents

  15. Reply


    May 4, 2017

    Great series and awesome review saab! Mkakarelate kahit sino. We were all teenagers once anyway. The series taught us how to be more understanding. Each characters have their own unique personalities and I feel bad for their actions toward Hannah. But on the other side of the story, pinapakita din on why they act that way, whether because of family problems, peer pressure or environment. Highly recommended and timely tong series since malaking issue ang suicide ngayon.

  16. Reply


    May 26, 2017

    Awww. This is such a precious read. Thank you Saab. I loved the series and binged on it. And now I’m thinking of watching it again after reading this. So much love. <3

  17. Reply


    May 29, 2017

    I feel you on this one. Also Zach is Diether Ocampo 😉

    • Reply


      May 30, 2017

      OO NGA NOH